I’ve been going into Manhattan two or three times a week since Thanksgiving for shopping, meeting friends, and seeing a couple of plays. At this time of year, the holiday spirit seems to consume New Yorkers, and they—for one month only—tend to be incredibly thoughtful and sensitive toward their fellow man. (During the other 11 months, New Yorkers will bend over backwards for you if you need help—but only if you can get their attention. Otherwise, New Yorkers are oblivious to all human beings, except beautiful blond or buxom women.)
In the past month, I’ve had New Yorkers hold doors for me, offer me their seats on the subway, and allowed me to go ahead of them on lines. Amazing! (FYI—I’m not a beautiful blond or buxom woman.) In a few cases, however, I’ve felt the courtesy was extended to me by a twenty-something New Yorker who felt he or she should be especially kind to an old lady. At those times, I’ve wanted to laugh out loud. Although I don’t feel any different than I did when I was twenty-something, I clearly look much, much older.
Am I defeated because twenty-somethings think I'm old? No way. My style goal isn’t to look like someone else, especially someone much, much younger. My style goal is to achieve the best possible version of me. I want to choose a hairstyle, cosmetics, clothing and accessories that flatter me--an over 50 woman.
The over 50 woman who wears a flattering outfit, has an upbeat, ready-to-laugh attitude and takes a genuine interest in the other guests will always be a belle at any holiday party. Not such a tall order, yes? Just be sure to avoid the following over 50 style faux pas...
#1: Cleavage
“Put those puppies away!” a male friend recently whispered in my ear as we watched from a distance an older woman with a very low-cut dress cross a restaurant’s dining room. I get that over 50 women are still sexual creatures and don’t want to dress like old asexual frumps. But we don’t want to look like elderly hookers either. Alternatives: Tops and dresses that show skin, but not cleavage, like...
Jones New York 3/4 Sleeve Embellished Cardigan (Black)
for $68.99.
Jones New York Long Sleeve Ruffle Front Trim Cardigan (Red)
for $129.# 2: Big Jewelry
Who started this trend for older woman? I suspect it was a thirty-something fashion magazine editor who thought, “No one wants to look at older women. If I tell older women to wear big jewelry, then people can focus on the jewelry instead of all those wrinkles.” For me, big jewelry is the equivalent of a Time Square billboard announcing, “I’m an Old Lady! Look at My Old Lady Jewelry!” Alternative: Stylish jewelry—simple chains with small charms or delicate stone or bead designs. If, like me, you thought eBags only sold jewelry boxes and travel jewelry pouches, think again. The site has lots of reasonable priced jewelry, such as (click on photo or product name to go to eBag.com)...
ABS Jewelry Abs Multi Row Black Diamond Necklace Black Diamond - Necklaces
for $157
Privileged Jewelry Gold Locket Necklace Gold - Necklaces
MINU Jewels Midnight Moons Chain Bracelet Royal Gold - Bracelets
for $62.99.
Bling by Wilkening Pearl and Sterling Silver Madison Necklace White - Necklaces
for $61.19
Fossil Multi-Colored Small Jewel Ball Necklace Silver - Necklaces
for $32.40#3: Red Lipstick
I understand the desire to create a fun and festive look for the evening. And it’s true that you should wear a little more makeup at night, when the sun’s harsh glare is gone. But your evening makeup should continue to look natural. Cherry or ruby red lipstick is not natural. Neither are caked on eyeliner, foundation and bronzer. While extreme makeup can look dramatic on a twenty-something woman, it just looks scary and severe on older women. Alternative: Choose a lip color that is just one shade darker than your natural color. And again, let your flattering party outfit and, perhaps, a professional hair ‘blow-out’ express your natural beauty and self-contentment.
Footnote: Looking for a fun activity next time you’re with girlfriends? Check out What Your Lips Say About You. Your lip print left on a hard surface (which doesn’t necessarily match the shape of your actual lips) apparently reveals certain things about you. Next time you’re with girlfriends, bring along squares of sturdy paper and this video slideshow.
#4: Showing Too Much Skin
You might call this “Part B” to the no cleavage advice. Showing cleavage, especially after beach season, is by far the worst offense an over 50 woman can commit. But special consideration should be given to finding the right degree of skin exposure. For instance, by and large, over 50 woman can't pull off spaghetti straps or a strapless garment. Even a top with a wide scoop and three-quarter sleeves can show too much chest skin and wash you out, if, like me, you've got pale skin in December. Alternatives: Find tops and dresses that offer the right skin balance--that is, enough skin to keep you looking feminine without so much skin that you look like an aging street walker. And at this time of year, bold flattering colors really help.
Anne Klein Mixed Media Tiered Pullover (Black)
is perfect for women over 50. Not only is it sleeveless with a round neck (one of my favorite combinations for over 50 women), but it has all those soft ruffle layers. The long necklace makes the torso look longer and slimmer.
Anne Klein Pullover With Zip Back (Black)
with its boat neck is great for women with broad shoulders. It's available for $50.99.
I debated whether to include this
Jones New York Long Sleeve Seamed Button Front Shirt (White)
for $79 because the model is wearing one of those ridiculous big necklaces with it. But I love this top because it's so feminine with its V-neck, long sleeves and tailoring. Just promise me, if you buy this blouse or something like it, you'll wear a sensible, stylish necklace with it.
Living in a cold climate sometimes requires something wooly. The wide-necked
Anne Klein Mohair Pullover (Red)
looks feminine despite its wooly long sleeves. It's available for $89.
#5: Tired Eyes
I know, I know—tired eyes are a fact of life for women over 50. And this time of year--so busy and sleep depriving--can be the worst time for your eyes. Alternatives: It might not be possible to get more sleep, but below are some remedies that might help...
- Cucumber slices. When I have time in the morning, I use the classic cucumber remedy. I’m not convinced it reduces the puffiness at all, but cucumber slices over the eyelids sure does feel good. The juice from the cucumber supposedly helps to reduce the dark circles, too.
- Cold Compress. No cucumbers in the house? A cold compress made with a face cloth doused in cold water works.
- Garnier Anti-Puff Eye Roller. When I’m in a hurry to get to work, I use this anti-puff roller. Like all the remedies, I’m not sure that it does anything other than feel cool and wonderful.
- Cold spoons. I haven't tried this, but I may. Place two two spoons in the freezer and let them get cold (but not frozen).
- Milk puffs. Apparently, milk has health properties. Dip cotton puffs in whole milk and place on your eyes for 15 to 20 minutes, several times a day, to relieve eye soreness and puffiness.
- Tea bags. Brewed tea (you choose the flavor) is another remedy. Place two tea bags in a small pot of boiling water for 5 minutes. Remove and chill. Once cold, place the tea bags over your eyes to reduce itchiness and soreness, dark circles, puffiness, and the bloodshot look.
Happy Holidays!
($286)
(was $1
for details.
. The lace makes it dressy and feminine. It also looks ultra-comfy. It's available for $168.
