Lady dress: Here Comes the Wedding Guest, All Dressed in…?

Editor's Note: This post was updated in June 2013.

There’s a part of me that hesitates to write about wedding guest attire. There are so many factors to consider when choosing an outfit. How can I cover them all? The ones that spring to mind immediately are 1) time of the wedding—day or evening, 2) type of event—very formal affair (ie, groom and groom’s men in morning coats, a high-end reception) or a relatively low-key affair (ie, a small gathering in a backyard, at a restaurant, by a waterfall), and 3) ethnic and regional considerations. It goes without saying that there are different expectations among the various cultural groups. And I think where you live in the world, even which part of the United States, will dictate what is appropriate dress.

All that said, I intend to forge on, sharing my thoughts on wedding guest attire for women over 50. I’ll leave it to you to pick and choose what you think will apply to your upcoming affair. Click on any of the photos for dress details, additional sizes, or to shop other dresses.

BEST GUEST ATTIRE: SHOPPING STRATEGY
If, for whatever reasons (ie, cost, comfort), you are opposed to wearing a fancy outfit to an upcoming wedding, you may not be alone. In the past seven months, I have been to two evening weddings, one very nice and the other pretty posh. Based on those two occasions, it would appear that anything goes. At the nice wedding, there was a young woman in a tunic over leggings. And three weeks ago, I saw a woman over 50 in a silk blouse, Capri pants and velvet flats at the posh wedding. At the risk of sounding like a very old fogey: I don’t approve!

A wedding is a huge event in a family’s history and very often involves a year’s worth of planning. I believe guests should show their appreciation for the momentous occasion by wearing something more than what they'd wear to a neighborhood cocktail party. This doesn’t mean, however, that you have to buy a dress you’ll never have occasion to wear again. Or even that you have to buy a dress. To get the most use out of a wedding outfit, pick one that’s…

Not Too Trendy. If you're on a budget or just hate to spend money on a dress that can't be worn everyday, look for dresses in the classic styles that flatter over 50 women. A good quality dress in a classic style--such as V-necks, simple sheaths, A-lines and wraps--that is well cared for will last for years. An over 50 girlfriend sent me a picture of herself at a recent "black tie optional" wedding (photo above). Instead of choosing an evening gown that she might never have a chance to wear again, she chose a simple, sleeveless sheath with a bolero jacket with a spray of black sequins. Since the LBD is showing no signs of going out of style. I'm betting my girlfriend will be wearing this out to dressy affairs for years to come. For a more casual day reception, you might want to consider a versatile wrap dress like the Jones New York Floral Boat Neck Dress (Blue, Size 12) below. It's available in Sizes 2-16. I know sleeveless is a "no-no" for many over 50 women. But I'm amazed at how many of my over 50 girlfriends still have reasonably nice arms. Personally, I do what my girlfriend in the photo above does--I wear sleeveless with a light jacket or sweater, and take it off when I'm dancing.

Jones New York Floral Boat Neck Dress (Blue, Size 12)

Don't feel like baring your arms in a short-sleeve dress? Don't pass on a pretty spring dress just because it's sleeveless. There are tons of little cardigans that you can wear with sleeveless or drape over your shoulders. For example, here's a pretty Jones New York Sweater Cardigan (White, Size M). Click on the photo to see up close as well as the many different colors and sizes.

Jones New York Sweater Cardigan (White, Size M)

Good for Day and Evening. It's not always possible, but I love when I find a great dress that can be worn to both day and evening events. When I want to buy a dress that works for either side of sunset, I consider two things: 1) fabric and 2) pattern. Personally, I don't feel comfortable wearing a dress with a floral print in pastel colors to an evening wedding. Light, airy floral prints are too "garden party" for night time. So when I want a dress for day and night, I look for a garment in a solid color or with an abstract or geometric design. Here's a Pintucked Asymmetrical Peplum Dress from Ann Taylor in a lovely jade color. The peplum look is a great way to hide your stomach. Quality fabric is also important even if you're just planning to wear the dress for an evening wedding. You want to buy the best quality dress in your price range. I tend to spend more on dresses for weddings. But if I choose wisely, the dress can be used for other fancy dress occasions.

Good for Dressy Affairs. There's no question in my mind: If you want a dress that looks smashing at both a nice gathering and a grand affair, choose something in a rich pattern and fabric. Lace dresses are huge this spring and I'm absolutely loving them. You'll find them in neutral colors--black and beige--as well as lots of pretty colors. I love the Shabby Apple dressed called I'm Late! I'm Late! in navy below. You can dress it up or down with jewelry for a day or evening affair. And the longer short sleeves in lace are perfect coverage for over 50 arms. I'd probably replace the sash with a belt.

Or for an evening wedding...

Anne Klein Embellished Flounce Jersey Dress (White, Size 12)

Fabulous for Your Figure. I've listed this strategy last because I figure it really goes without saying. If you feel like a million bucks in a dress that flatters your body shape, you'll look like a million bucks. And that's the way you should look at a wedding. There are dresses to flatter every body shape this season. Here's a sample of the different styles for different body shapes.

Anne Klein Cap Sleeve Dress (Blue, Size L)

Color-blocked dresses are in vogue again this spring. I love this subtle black and white dressfrom Jones New York. Grab a pair of trendy pumps or flats and you'll be ready to look smashing!

Jones New York Ruched Dress (Black, Size 14) ($139) in Sizes 2-16.

Luxury Lace Shift Dress (was $178, now $133.50 for Flattering50 readers.)

SUIT YOURSELF
Twenty-five years ago, when my friends and I were getting married, the only suits you'd see on women at weddings were matching jacket-and-skirt sets. Today, suits and pants suits are starting to turn up at weddings, even on the mother of the bride and groom. I have yet to see a woman in a pant suit at a wedding, but I don't see anything wrong with it. My favorite suits for weddings are dress suits like the ones below. If I was going to wear a skirt suit or pants suit, I would wear one in one of the trendy neutrals. For examples, take a peek at The New Neutral Suits: White, Stone and Sand.